Where is my way ?

I am lost.. Today is valentine's day but I concluded it is my bad day .

Schedule out of time .. Interview was changed 3 times until the interviewer criticized. Yet still not the big problem. The interview was smooth and inspiring , yet it made me more confused now. Learnt something which I hate to know , life is too bad when you know the truth.

It needs courage to dare to change ,I have it.
It needs commitment to work on it, I have it.
It has to lie yourself somehow, which I still cannot make it.

I closed a deal today before I rushed to interview; And I failed the interview( not sure but I'm gonna give it up for 2nd interview).

I feel so bad today, I feel even bad today because I am alone and I am 25 .

@%^$#$&^U%@#$%&%^#$@$%^&

can't express my anger. T_T