Who's on the line

Sunday, January 24, 2010

again , i am full today ..

before i left my company today , there was a lunch party from supervisors due to they received the bonus ... ughhh .. it's yummy ... so i ate a lot again ...then i rushed to times square to meet up my dearest coursemates at food and tea .. but ordered a drink from there only . because we have no time to drink and eat but keep talking our torturous practical life ... phiewww ... i am sure all of us must saying : you are looking me that i'm doing fine , and i'm looking you that you are doing well .. right?

but what to do .... it's my 8th week ...

later we went shopping for awhile and some of them were leaving . after that i went to sgwang met up my cousins and waiting them to do some hair treatment . My dinner ended up with KIm gary , actually i wanted to eat but i was regret ... because until now i'm full until wanna vomit .... i need to lose weight .......... as rapid as i can's CNY !!!!!!!!!!!!!

but i bought nothing today ... the mood is not with me ... i don't know why .. i feel so down today , although had meet up my coursemates .. and exchanged our feelings .. something wrong ...

despite how long it is , memory never gone . but i don't know why , the feeling is so hurt ... and it is weird ...

Friday, January 22, 2010

phiewwwittt ......

next sat i am OFF !!!!!!!!!!!!!! because of thaipusam .. finally i can off on SATURDAY !!!!!!!!!! Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh next week going to make my hair and tomorrow will start my shopping for CNY mission ~ huhuuhu ........

And my supervisor today said that next month i will join in food testing , which is one of the outlet quality assessment , where we will be eating the menu assigned .. i can't imagine .. how much i will throw into my stomach , but all are delicious !!! as i saw the menu before , from appetizer to desserts .................. my god ........ i am not promoting the company but since this is a test , the staffs will cook as best as they can .. but next month is CNY month ... i hope i don't gain any weight .. pls pls pls .......... i need to increase my exercise level for triple from now .....

Thursday, January 21, 2010

i am so full .... it is a miserable week...

i wanted diet all the time .. but this week really make me failed to commit ..

on tuesday , there was product testing ... and i am so excited to join it .. in fact , just eat the products .. wuaaakkkss ...

i think i shall elaborate abit about what i've done in my practical . Basically , the activity above is to make sure the products are meeting the standard specifications . This is why Quality Controller is needed . WE are to ensure the quality is always there , where quality means the consistency of the products and expectations from the customers , is within the standard range .

phsically, color is good , in golden brown and well-presented . They were proofed nicely , having nice heights / leavening process , not collapsed or shrinked . Smells are normal ,no sour or distinct or strange smell.
Lastly, tasting time. this is subjective. As long as is acceptable then will pass. usually problems only raised like tasteless , too sweet or salty .

i took 5 types , first time to try : mini tuna mushroom puff , tuna mushroom puff , cinnamon walnut croissant , apple blueberry CRT , and chocolate CRT

On Wednesday , there was a lunch from management for helping in X'mas promotion, where what i contributed was wrapping the promotion gift sets . My 2nd KFC meal in This year ... on the 2nd week of Jan this year , the boss's birthday we also had KFC.

And today , before lunch , i took pizza ... as i requested previously from the baker , he gave me banyak banyak cheeeeessseee .. but he baked too long , a bit burn ... BUT STILL YUMMYY ... i took three XD !!!!!!

2 tahiti pizza ( pineapple cubes , green capsicum , red onion cube and chicken toast ) and 1 sausage pizza ( onion slice , green capsicum and sausage )

basically this whole tray is for QC/QA exec ...

And , in the tea time pula ( actually no tea time in my company and no free foods , but as recorded in my photo , it was around 3 pm something , the supervisor asked us to try on the lamb shoulder ... wuaaaaaaaaaaaaa .... my favourite ... since only one of my colleagues had it , so we two ate it , but he only ate 1 piece because he is going to outlet having another food testing , and left the other two for me lagi .. so i ate 4 pieces in total ... wuaaaaaaaaaaa .............i did not know what sauce is that but the lamb shoulder is so "lamby" ... yum yummm

In the packet .will be frozen before deliver to outlets and just reheat in outlets before serve .

SInce i took SO MUCH calorie today , high fat , high protein , thus i am having oat for dinner right now ... heee ....

my hp spoiled ......... coz it dropped into water last week and i just ignored it since it still on after i picked it up , but some of the buttons cannot work already and i am so irritated when i pressed it so hard ..... errrrrhhhm!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

again , i am lost . It is time to change . 2001201

i just realized , today is 20/01/2010 . uhemm ... After working , called to a coursemate and just alerted by the news that there is a HACCP training being held by a lecturer in ukm. And i was so panic and confused to join or not . In a very limited time , i consulted to one of my colleagues , he was UPM grad and has 6 yrs experience in food industry . His opinion is encouraging but on the other hand , when i consulted my supervisor , in stead of giving me her opinion about HACCP training program , she lets me know her better as well, we are getting closer . So , about HACCP training , i won't join it , atleast for now . I am really feel so lost just now , anything , my practical , my relationship between me and my supervisor , HACCP , my future , is foodscience actually what i want , after talked to the coursemate . But after what my supervisor did talked to me today , although in very short time , less than 5 min , i was like awake from don't know where .

She evaluates her staffs , by the way how they acts , how they works , their personality , their passion to work , can they work under stress .. etc .. And honestly , she said there is nothing to do with although u hold a foodscience degree when u come to work . It is not important . You don't need any foodscience knowledge to work as an QC , just like another one of my colleagues , she was graduated from pure science, and now i am under her guidance to learn all QC stuffs . Frankly , when she said so , i agreed with her . i know the knowledge is not applicable . But i was so sad , i spent my time , by the end , they are useless . We do not have a way to utilize our expertise,all of us from food science, we know our route to the degree is really different from other courses . I don't know why i survive for that 2 years, why i compete so hard .. all of them when come to end , end up with a paper . i was really upset at that moment . It might not be applicable to all food science students, some seniors might doing well , some might changed their field since graduated too . I'm saying so , because infact, my sv is from our course . When she said so, she gave me an example, where we out of our field.

I understand , that working and study are different . Not everyone will further the way from what they studied , i am also thinking to do thing that totally not related to science after graduate . but what if we can do it and at the same time our knowledge is applicable .. i wonder if there is any ways

i think is time for me to change , now , that i should try to change to another route . A route that i just leave all food science burdens behind , throw all the perceptions that i must apply and utilize my food science knowledge and expertise , theories etc in my practical . Just work , work , and work . i always say , life goes on .. i know my life is going on , but i am the one stand still at the beginning , because i cannot find my way . i keep staying in the past .. i want to go further , but i went too far from what i want to achieve , that is why the title is again i am lost. i really don't know where to go , mentally stressed .

i know , i am so ridiculous ... but do let me know , who i am ... i doubt ...

Monday, January 18, 2010

so many to recall back ~

arghhh ... just finished 'pouring bitter water' to my school mates ...i was bullied by my company , where i have to replace the leave I applied for CNY . None of my coursemates applied CNY leave gonna replace their leave BUT ONLY MY COMPANY NEEDS ME TO REPLACE !!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE !

i'd consulted one of my colleagues today , she said she also not very sure about this company's rules , but she said actually i am not paid , but is given some so-called allowances , and some companies require interns to replace the leave although allowances r given , or not given . all are depending on the company .. sighh.. since she also said so lor ... what to do ... just accept lor .. haizzz ... . GOD also them , EVIL also them .. i'm just an ordinary average human ... but i cant control even in my dream to curse this com ..... arghhhhhhhhhh ........ some asking why don't they just deducted from allowances ? how should i know ? THIS CAN BE DUE TO WE DON'T HAVE THE PROTECTION FROM THE UNI. If we have such letter to state all terms and conditions, then we can argue. at least we are protected, but not everything control and arranged by the company. They just changed the rules and policies whenever they want. And we have no choice to say yes or not .

The most terrible problem is,

On last week , i've referred to one of the HR staffs , she in charge of all staffs and recruitment .. something like that , i asked why i have to replace , the leave is paid or not pay ? at the same time , when i'm replacing for the 8 days later , am i paid or not pay ?

which is paid and which is unpaid ?

but then she answered me : nomatter you are paid or not pay , we have the right to ask u to replace . ... i hate very much in fact , coz she has bad attitude and eye on forehead ... somemore she said like that , she should know she needs to take responsible on what she said , you won't believe this is a hr personnel , or all hr personals are the same ? but her colleague is not . Is she means , 你讲晒伞。。你讲咩就咩。。同按住来抢有咩分别? since the 1st day i entered this company , that is the culture of the company, how they act . just change anything , just decide anything on what they want.... yet our uni or program does not protect us .

the company should thank to her , for her sake , due to her . this company 's image , their reputation will changed by me .

until now , i really don't know actually am i paid or not pay . B'coz i did asked to another HR , who in charge of payroll , i was asking how much is my allowance , when it will be pay ? how it is paid ? cash or cheque ? per month or per day ?

but she told me that my supervisor has not propose anything yet .. my godddd .............. frankly i don't mind how much is that , because it does not mean anything at all . how much they gonna pay = my performance , yet i don't think i perform anything in that company . i was just like a machine , they just key in what they want , and i will do anything according to their command. I hope time of this pass asap . I am now not in learning stage anymore , i just a ' da gung zai ' ... and i accepted this situation already . i know i was lifeless now , but i cant do anything , life goes on .. if this is my destiny , i just followed what GOD arranged . THanks god ... truly .. maybe it is the time for me to think wise , what am i gonna do , where i'm going to graduate .

Today again , i heard there are people wanna resign soon too .. since i entered the company , every week there are people keep resign ...

Actually , there is sometimes , there are fun times and things during working , learning myanmarish , learning duck & chicken's dialogue .. gossip with security guards and labours .... err ... i think no more ..

i am now try to adjust my daily working plans so that my time can be fully utilized during 8.30am - 6.00 pm , no matter what i do , as long as , i am doing something . i don't care what my lecturer gonna ask me what foodscience knowledge , haccp, gmp , this and that did i learn , i think they also should ..we merely sit , cutting paper, washing cups , sweeping floor and walking in the company ... since they had the experiences too ...

just now accidentally , saw one of the old friends from hometown , who i knew him through MIRC , 10 years ago . And now HE WAS MARRIED !!!!!! and her wife is so pretty , like a model ............. i don't mean he is not handsome , just his body shape is not a model's as well , so i was shocked . When i recalled his background , i think he deserves to have all he had now .... when GOD took something from you , HE will return u back something .

And , i saw his account as well ... suddenly , i miss him so much ... and i'd forgotten , i'm getting old again ... it is 2010 now .... when i saw the year he was born 1982 .. i feel he is old and he should get married as well , as the friend i mentioned above was also born in 1982 . But , i am not young anymore as well ... im 23 ... goshhhhhhhhh .........

and few days ago , i saw the uni friends went clubbing at kl , this is the final yr for them ... yuksss ..... i miss the day clubbing with my foodscience kaki .......... when we club again guys and galsssssssss ......... i miss the dayss we hang out ...

time to sleeep!!! zzzzZZZZZZzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZzz

Saturday, January 16, 2010

bad week ? good week ?

supervisor was away since Wednesday of the week , and we were so relax ~ although just worked in production yet i'm happy ..... positively , i can said i learnt something > Myanmarish , FOC , taught by the young guys and gals inside there .. yet .. i cannot remember any words of it .. lol ..

finally, i got my leave during CNY , was on leave from 10-21/2 .. total of 8 days . Yet i have to replace these 8 days , meaning that i will have to extend the nightmare from 17/4 to 8 days later . another mean thing of the company , previously they said leave is not needed to be replaces. But in the end ?? they used to do this ... broke the promise and in fact they used to cheat since earlier ..

i did not ask for any reason . i am tired to fight . i hope all this pass ASAP . let me go .


Went to here having dinner before welcoming 2010 on last day ~

for 4 persons

QQ tau fu ... yum yum ~

Sunday, January 10, 2010


the 10th day of 2010 . it is 10.34am . i was slept from 8.30pm last night till 9.40am just now. Yet i am stilll exhaustedddddddddddddddddddddddddddd . my back is so pain . just recovered from few weeks ago then due to the sandwich packing , the back pain is back ! ughhh .. tomorrow is another monday blur ... really not wanted to go ... i am lazy ..i am unmotivated . seniors just saying that having a master , she rather to work ... my god .. i am so lost... i wish to work ... but a job that i will work happily .. i got my direction ... but not for now .

Friday, January 8, 2010

i am SOOOOOOOOO TIRED !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

from yesterday till today i helped in packing and making 14000 sandwiches ............. i'm exhausted ....................... tomorrow still have to work ...................

Saturday, January 2, 2010


我尽力总结2009年所发生过的事....但是却排列不出来.....只记得,五月我们去爬了神山,现在依然历历在目...那一段旅途,我们的友谊加深不少. 希望我们还有下一次的旅行. 

下半年,最令我难忘的,莫过于 FPD . 经历着不可思议的日子,每天埋头苦干的日子,让我不禁责问自己,我的生活在哪里 ?

另一让我不可忘记的事,就是他的离开. 突然传来的消息,让我不可置信,还以为是恶作剧一场,我们都不舍, 但是这事实,我们坦然接受. 让我从新去考虑我活着所要追求的, 我要更加懂得如何珍惜的. 也许,这太早了.但是,生命就是如此地美丽,但是却是那么地短暂。开心的时候总是一眼瞬间;难过的时候,让你沮丧不已。人生起起落落,当你爬得越高,要下来的时候,也许需要一点时间。当你跌倒时,也需要更长的时间去平伏那伤口。


以为,一直渴望的,憧憬的,会很快发生。现实生活与梦想果然不是你说是,它就是的. 一切都变成相对了....让我不再祈求,不再奢求,不再期望.只求这一切,快点过去. 暂时就活在没有灵魂的日子。。


2010 的第二天,我在期待什么? 太多,却不敢去想......我只想找到容得下我的避风港
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