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Who's on the line

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Dear my darling ~

hehe.. is the topic attract you to read ??

 

yep ... dear my darling FRIENDS ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ i just finished a yum cha from QQ jz nw , i think this is the last yum cha of us in sandakan for this year . although not all of u present , but those attended , i enjoyed the tea n fun . at the same time , our opposite table , there oso a stmike gang was gathering too . 10yrs senior .. 10 yrs later , they still got a lot of ppl ... some of them even getting married .. i wonder .. 10 years later , anyone of us will meet each other again in sandakan ? is this a promise ?

 

those who get ums .. hopefully u all are happy n enjoy , im sure u guys must cuz all in same college n course ! so near nia ... almost half of u r thr ...

 

those who get local uni or going to college in peninsula ... plz take care ya ... for those in johor .. pls pls pls ... cuz the safety thr .. hmm ... jz always stay alert la...

 

those near to kl de ... hehe ... lets hav a drink in kl den .... miss u guys ~~~~~

 

those in kk !! when im coming back to sabah .. i must go kk de .. pls serve me !!!!!~~~~~~~ kekeke ... i nit a place to stay with u all ..kasih tumpang sikit la k ... lolz .... n who is taking computer-related course ... yo ... owez update to me k .. coz im computer-idiot ...  n reli nit a computer-pro to consult ~~~

 

 

 

 

I MISS YOU GUYS ALWAYS ~ GOODLUCK IN UR WAY YA

Monday, June 25, 2007

我为我而生


很快的。。我的量地生活即将结束。

 

很快的,大学生活要开始了,倒数五天,有种不祥的预感,有种忐忑不安的心情。

 

即将结束十字头的年龄,踏入另一个人生转折点,我为我的人生,作了一个决定。一个彻彻底底能够影响我以后的人生的决定。

在大学收入名单还未公布之前,所有的人,包括家人,亲戚,朋友,老师,同学,我不认识但认识我的人,都觉得我会未来药剂师。然而我自己却一点也没有这种感觉,到底要成为一名药剂师,是需要付出多少努力?需要牺牲些什么?牺牲的又是值得的吗?得到的是什么?是我想要得吗?名誉?地位?金钱?利益?关系?每当这个问题被提起,这些问号就会各自一一浮现。一度与家人的意见不和,朋友的抬举,学长姐的推动,亲戚的期望,都是我想要放弃的念头与冲动,很奇怪吗?

 

我很怀疑这条不好走的路会是我要的吗?当然,完美的人生,荡荡大道,也许是每个人梦寐以求,然而发生在当事人的身上时,是那么地难以抉择。我面试时,那位印度先生说,也许你不是有钱的孩子,但是,不一定穷就不能读这科,不一定穷就不能成大业。这些话我都明白,我都了解。我当时心里很想问他:没钱,你家的大学,会让我免费的读完整个课程吗?

现实生活就是如此。人类也许不应该轻易放弃,但,挣扎太久,到最后什么也没得到却换来痛苦,那又何必?一开始认命,往另一个方向飞行不是更好吗?何苦执迷不悟?

 

因此,我认命了。我选择进入政府大学,是我的第五选择,食物科学与营养。虽然这不完全是我想要得,但还有少许是我要的。好了,决定好了,去吧。家人都松了一口气,亲戚们也一旁安慰着,同学们抱着恭喜的心情祝贺。我不知道我拿到的科系有多好,只觉得,我那么地努力,去争取我要的一切,我想知道的一切,我最后得到,别人不用付出也一样得到,相同的东西,唯一不同的是,我没有一位他们像我自己的朋友。我把我得到的都分享给大家,结果大家一起分享,那么,他们付出的又是什么?我得到的是什么?有谁来谢谢我吗?谢谢我教他们的一切,谢谢我告诉他们的一切,谢谢我指点他们的一切。我自大吗?我在老黄卖瓜,自卖自夸吗?只有偷吃辣椒的人才会知道辣。秀才遇着兵,有理说不清,就是我这种。心里真得很不好受,很酸。。。。

 

令我放弃的,无形的压力。经济来源的压力,家人的压力,亲戚朋友的压力,自我要求的压力,学业的压力。。这些都让我喘不过气,还未踏入这条路,就已这样了,我要怎么走下去?所以我决定放弃了。我让自己再放肆一年,一年后,也许想法会更成熟,到时再来看看面前的道路该怎么走。。也许很多人觉得还浪费一年时间是那么的愚蠢,可是这是我心甘情愿的,我不后悔;即使后悔,到时也是于事无补了。一年的时间,换我的一生,有那么不值得吗?我就赌上这一把。

 

今天回到学校,老师们问我拿到什么,一开始听到大学的名字,还不错,当我说到什么科时,都没人知道这科是干麻的。同样的问题,学弟妹问我,反应也是一样的。顿时,我觉得我很失败。即使我是冠全校的又如何?即使我是冠全城的又如何?我最后得到的,也不过是如此。。一般老百姓听了都觉得白痴的东西。根本就不算是什么,我从来没觉得是什么骄傲的事情,只不过家人带来的压力,总让我觉得我应该是酱做的,我应该要有酱的成绩,酱的成就。即使我也很想,但我想低调的享受这些。可是现实却不让我这么低调,只觉得我总要在世人面前演戏。我好,管你们屁事?要你们来捧?一点都不稀罕。

 

过后,再去到一个药剂师朋友的店,我一直都不敢面对她,当我决定了进本地大学。之前我问了她不少关于药剂的一切,几乎是99%要进这科了,她让我懂了很多关于药剂的,这一切一切是我家人一直以来都不能理解的,我也不想去解释,反正我就知道他们最后的反应和结果是什么。她和老师学弟妹的反应一样,我从她脸上看到那种失落感,比我更失落。我妈还问她一句这科好不好,她没回答,但我知道,她的答案是:最好的那科我早就告诉你了。

相比之下,当然,药剂师的地位,荣誉,无可否认比一个食物研究员或营养师来的高。相对,学费无论在私人界或政府也是比较高。不过,政府的学费还能负担的起。私人不是负担不起,只不过有点吃力,是个负担,正正是个‘负担’!就拿政府的药剂和私人大学的药剂学费相比,私人的一个学期是政府的10倍。

 

政府的食物科学与营养和私人的药剂学费,是相差30 倍。一般的有钱人,所谓的就是那些能够进私人药剂的学生,出国的留学生,等等等等,他们根本不能理解这一切。无可否认,本人亲自体验目睹。

 

我个人觉得,这是莫须有的一笔学费。即使我成为一位药剂师,背负着十万的债务。四年行尸走肉的大学生活。当然,十五万买一个药剂师名誉回来也许值得,但是人走到最后,期待着的又是什么?遗憾吗?荒废的青春吗?

 

所以,再次让我鼓起勇气决定这个事实,往前走。我期待的大学生活,我期待的人生,豁出去了。即使毕业了不知会做些什么,也许会失业,但是在这未来四年我不会让我的青春人生留白,尽情去做我要的。

 

倒数三天,不知要与网络分手多久,好想念。。没有网络,还真得与世界脱节。当然,与现实面对,是很好的实习。我会坚强面对这一切,因为,是我为我自己而选择,再怪谁也没用了,最后只会听见争吵,埋怨,哭泣,悲伤,难过。。算了吧。。就让这一切让我来承受

 

 

 

 

这首也许不是很符合,但是有些点是有touch到的

 

 

 

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Tuesday, June 19, 2007

sore throat

sore throat like hell ... mute for few days .........suxxxxxx ..any good thing happened soon ? i doubt so

Friday, June 15, 2007

每日一言~1

Once a lie is discovered , you 're a liar

 

 

 

Well done is better than well said ~ Benjamin Franklin

Monday, June 11, 2007

frenster's server sux?

lolz ... cant wait for those pre-IT personnel to create our own forum .. somemore here is quite convenient .. but dontknow why i cant/hard to reply here too FREQUENT and also cant add those wanna join :evil:  :evil:  :evil:  :evil:

 

 

sux ... cant reply above in frenster ... argh

Thursday, June 7, 2007

SHE ~ 五月天

 

虽然现在已经是六月了。。 但是这首歌的意境仿佛还在周围。。

 

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Sunday, June 3, 2007

飞轮海-专辑介绍

最近才开始留意他们的歌,有几首觉得还不错听。。

 


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听说爱情回过来

听说爱情回来过

在朋友那儿听说
痴心的你曾回来过
想请他替我向你问候
只为了怕见面说不出口
你对以往的感触还多不多
曾让我心碎的你
我依然深爱着
在朋友那儿听说
痴心的你曾找过我
我要他帮我对你隐瞒
只是怕见了面会更难过
我对以往的感触还那么多
曾给我幸福的你
我依然深深爱着
有一种想见不能见的伤痛
有一种爱还埋藏在我心中
我只能把你放在我的心中
这一种想见不能见的伤痛
让我对你的思念越来越浓
我却只能把你把你放在我心中
有一种想见不敢见的伤痛
这一种想见不敢见的伤痛
对你的声音你的影你的手
我发誓说我没有忘记过
而关于你选择了现在的她
我只能说我有些难过
我也真心真意的等过

 


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Saturday, June 2, 2007

陈奕迅-淘汰 , 周杰伦的demo原版~


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让你们听听连陈奕迅也觉得perfect的原版demo ~

原来这才是真的你


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王心凌新歌- 原来这才是真的你 。。。 感动哦。。好喜欢她唱这类型的歌

 

 

我关了手机
用力地深呼吸
告诉我自己
没有什么了不起
就当我和你
演一出爱情戏
流一点眼泪没关系
也许是我太年轻
不懂你要的关心
并不只是一对一
才会伤害自己
爱情过了保险期
就像玩腻的游戏
不想再要一对一
可是没有耐心

原来这才是真的你
无法掌握自己的心
偶尔花言巧语
偶尔又选择逃避
自做聪明
原来这才是真的你
习惯演戏
随时在磨砺演技
忘了什么叫做珍惜
你想找谁合演对手戏
这是你的权利
就让你自己决定
虽然泪水淹没了眼睛
我却轻吻让心痛一个彻底
决定就现在喊停
不再受委屈
ho~wo~ho~

 

 

 

motivation

motivation .. an invisible power in our life , just read my fren's blog , and thought of this . not only in study , but also in life .. but where can i find this motivation from ? i have think of it , before , is from my ex-classmates , but how bout in the future ? and recently just finished a drama , quite touching , and the main character found her motivation from her idol , walau eh , of course , that is only a drama , in real life , it is impossible that it will happened , possiblity = 0.001 % .. im finding back my passion n i need motivation , encouragements right now .. to get ready to my university's life ......it must be so tough .. wuwuwuw :~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ which i never hope lehh .. simple life .. but unusual ppl owez desire for simple life .. am i unusual ? hehe i just want to usual then .. feel so sleepy just now but after having a sleep bout an hour now become energized and eating ice-cream .. yum yum ~~ haha .. my favourite .. complicated feeling tonight after viewed of someone's blog and pictures , make me feel  life is so colourful and wonderful , however , when is my turn ?? travel around the world , especially to europe is my dream , but in coming 5 years i still cant do it :~ at the same time , im getting old , really wanna do alots of things during young but sometimes out of my control .. dilemma
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