again , i am lost . It is time to change . 2001201

i just realized , today is 20/01/2010 . uhemm ... After working , called to a coursemate and just alerted by the news that there is a HACCP training being held by a lecturer in ukm. And i was so panic and confused to join or not . In a very limited time , i consulted to one of my colleagues , he was UPM grad and has 6 yrs experience in food industry . His opinion is encouraging but on the other hand , when i consulted my supervisor , in stead of giving me her opinion about HACCP training program , she lets me know her better as well, we are getting closer . So , about HACCP training , i won't join it , atleast for now . I am really feel so lost just now , anything , my practical , my relationship between me and my supervisor , HACCP , my future , is foodscience actually what i want , after talked to the coursemate . But after what my supervisor did talked to me today , although in very short time , less than 5 min , i was like awake from don't know where .

She evaluates her staffs , by the way how they acts , how they works , their personality , their passion to work , can they work under stress .. etc .. And honestly , she said there is nothing to do with although u hold a foodscience degree when u come to work . It is not important . You don't need any foodscience knowledge to work as an QC , just like another one of my colleagues , she was graduated from pure science, and now i am under her guidance to learn all QC stuffs . Frankly , when she said so , i agreed with her . i know the knowledge is not applicable . But i was so sad , i spent my time , by the end , they are useless . We do not have a way to utilize our expertise,all of us from food science, we know our route to the degree is really different from other courses . I don't know why i survive for that 2 years, why i compete so hard .. all of them when come to end , end up with a paper . i was really upset at that moment . It might not be applicable to all food science students, some seniors might doing well , some might changed their field since graduated too . I'm saying so , because infact, my sv is from our course . When she said so, she gave me an example, where we out of our field.

I understand , that working and study are different . Not everyone will further the way from what they studied , i am also thinking to do thing that totally not related to science after graduate . but what if we can do it and at the same time our knowledge is applicable .. i wonder if there is any ways

i think is time for me to change , now , that i should try to change to another route . A route that i just leave all food science burdens behind , throw all the perceptions that i must apply and utilize my food science knowledge and expertise , theories etc in my practical . Just work , work , and work . i always say , life goes on .. i know my life is going on , but i am the one stand still at the beginning , because i cannot find my way . i keep staying in the past .. i want to go further , but i went too far from what i want to achieve , that is why the title is again i am lost. i really don't know where to go , mentally stressed .

i know , i am so ridiculous ... but do let me know , who i am ... i doubt ...