it is a challenge ..

i cannot cope or i should be patient ... i feel helpless and i don't see my future ... but i'm cleared that i'm doing things that i never want . How could i escape , it is just a beginning today .. my tears are rolling down in my heart.

i was so upset just now since back from company . today is my first day of practical .i reached there around 8.10am , but nobody opened the door . I supposed to report at there at 8.30am . so after waiting 5 minutes , the door opened and i was waiting in the reception for the HR person in charge . Then , i waited until 8.45am and the person came to take me . By the way , there was a girl sitting next to me , which i thought she is also a trainee , then i thanked god , atleast i am not alone . yet she was not , she was new staff in account dep. after that i was briefed by the HR person for the structure of the company from 3rd floor til my dept which QC on the ground floor . Then i was handed to one of my senior colleagues for my whole training . In fact , the supervisor , which is also , i guess , assistant / senior exec of QC dept , would brief me . But i didn't see her whole morning except she was meeting to the director of bla bla bla which aka "auntie" .

so the girl who brought me through the production line , from dry material storage till warehouse , was not foodscience graduated and just came into the company during sept. another male colleague also jz entered during sept and is from ums foodscience 3-4 years ago . Another one colleague , which is more senior , also role as QA exec , was a 3x malay man . The former 2 r young chinese ppl . So basically , my dept got 4 ppl . And QA manager was just resigned.

These 2 paragraph , in fact , i need to do a weekly report , but they will be summarized as " overview of company organization and structure " . simple and easy . but as a UKM FOodscientist , we used to write that 2 paragraphs , but i guess , my supervisor wants the latter one .

phiewss ... i was so upset .. again , until i called up my coursemate in penang , who also started LI today, with another coursemate too . She was in R&D dep while the other one in QC , in same company in penang . I just knowing that their company is doing confectionery products , oh god ... then i expressed my sadness to her , i feel so down . Then she told me they also met the same thing . And only after that , i was relief .. but still i don't like the way ...

arghhh .... i cannot return already ,i can only go forward ... why .... am i the only one who face such problems ?? it is miserable... i cannot imagine further ... or i have to gone through all these before i achieve what i want ? i hope i deserve to do all these ...

actually , i just cannot imagine.....

well , think positively , stay happily ... but i really down now .. i hope tomorrow will be better . the trainer , pls , be kind and good mood in this week . his wife ka .. or his gf ka .. or all ppl closed to him pls stay well with him .. so tat he wont menopause during this week ... then my life will be good ...

i oso sad to know i might not be able to go back during cny ..HKC ! i reli have to be rude for this ... i actually feel the company very "hak bok" or mean lo ... i duno y ... maybe not local chinese boss ... or their culture ... but all the 'high levels" r chinese pula .. but no young one .. sad ... no tai zi yeh .. no diamond yellow wong , no leng zai , or maybe i shud said females more than males .. my coursemate , is ur company same with me ? tell me .. then i feel better ...

i'm tired .... tml have to wake at 6am again .. to catch ktm ... 6 pm have to be sandwich in ktm again to return... gila betul ...

why ? because end of the day my sv told me that tml i have to go midvalley for 1 week and next week will have to go ampangpoint outlets. What m i doing there ? no idea too .

yet , before i accepted to this company , during our interview, confirm and reconfirm before i accept to go . This is not the story . The part of the story is that Im supposed to have this outlet visits only during the last 2 weeks of the practical, and only to the outlet in midvalley ? but now ? it is the 2nd day , and she is smart, she informed me 10 minutes before i go back . i have no way to say no. What should i do ? let's see tomorrow ...