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Monday, July 1, 2013

我是八十分女生

最近发现最新的网络词语 。。


80分女生

 何谓80分女生?

年龄:25-35
长相:没有抢眼美貌,但外貌不差,不是典型第一眼美女,却被认定耐看。
条件:学历不坏,工作不错,经济阔绰,自给自足型
人缘:绝对好相处
爱情:没有丰富恋爱经验,交往不超过6个男朋友,常常认为自己找不到匹配的男人,目前单身。



80分,是刚好拿 A等,却不到100 分,不太差,刚刚好。。。


人生的无奈, 就是我们这种什么都刚刚好的人。。。 

Sunday, June 30, 2013

2013的另一半


2013的一半,另一半的新一页即将开始。回顾这半年,高潮迭起,不如意的事一波接一波,完全没有时间去思想要怎么解决上一个问题,下个难题已等恭候 。

也许年纪大了,顾虑多了,很多决定都不能大无畏地去执行。不如往常地潇洒自如,不如年少轻狂地任性。。

友人说读书的光阴真好,一年前的我也说过同样的话,一年后的我听到同样的话却有不同的心境去体会。死心眼的我应该雀跃地说,真想回到学生时期啊。今天的我却没有,开始发现学历只是让你起步的一张通行证,当然一张高评价的通行证会让你通行地比较畅顺,可是还是有例外。

新的环境如我预期地体会我预料的 ,人情冷暖,奉承阿谀。接触不同阶层的人,看到极端两面的人,活得如此自如。

最典型的莫过于自我感觉良好的人,最多。是我太天真,都活在自己的世界,自以为只要默默耕耘,做好本份,总有收成的一天。其实,并不需要,不需要让自己太累,不需要太本领,不需要利用太多时间去拼搏,懂得利用手腕,上位其实就指日可待了。

太扯了吧,你想? 所以大家都说我太天真了。

当我看到这些活生生地上演着, 我不寒而栗。 我害怕有一天变成那样,我只想默默地做好本份,不想参与这些政治游戏,每天上演不同的话剧。

除了工作,生活的不如意十有八九,最近觉得活得像傀儡,任人摆布。我想,我是不是应该为自己安排,我可以一个人生活,我可以。。?也许是我也懒得去整理我自己,就让别人去主宰我的来去。

我把自己压抑到最低点,不让别人看见,我忍住不去麻烦别人,即使是很小的事情罢了。
我害怕别人对我关心,但是却渴望被关心。

最近的夜里,我都有一个期待。可是我又渐渐发现,别人并不和我一样。一次,两次,好了,这次我比上次敏捷了,早知早觉了。其实彼此都清楚,而我都是被动的。其实我们都怕深陷太深,而我只想活在当下,不想理会那些我们都不知的未来。我们只是在对的时间碰上对的人做着对的事情。

于是我把我的欲望忍住,告诉自己不要依赖他人,不要贪恋他人。如别人所说。。我是可以一个人,一直以来都是这样..

我昨晚发现一位友人很不可思议的一件事 。。 让我觉得,人生如戏。。好讽刺。。

然后这样的深夜,我发现没有人让我倾诉。。。 于是我一直醒着到天亮。。和孤独的深夜和寂寞的空气对峙了一个夜晚。。

到现在,那欲望还是很强烈。。越来越强烈。。

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

New journey begins

I think it has been some time that I try to be conservative to talk about my new job .. I joined a MNC not long ago .. not many of my friends knew about it as well except really intimate one


Fill full of uncertainties when I quit from previous job, fear and lost , lack of feeling of securities , emptiness in life .. etc

I have one two seconds where I struggled where to go , eventually I followed my heart and let god leads me to where I belong , which is here .

It is a job that people keep encourage me to go for it a year ago , yet also people ask me to think twice before go for it .

It is a good experience and exploration, so far I am happy with everything, working environment is good, people are friendly, opportunities to travel in and out of M'sia, everything is just nice . Give and take .

I just recently told two three friends of mine that money is never your 1st concern when you have a mind of changing job, of course, there must be slightly better offer if you decide to join new company.

Besides better money, job advancement, your passion and aspiration are the power drive you behind. Without passion, double or triple pay will not keep you long in the new environment . It will never last. You will feel hatred eventually because you realize you are just blinded by the initial good money but you lose your quality life.


Yet, it does not mean you do not deserve such good figure of pay, because your value reflects your capability What a corporate has is money , and they want talent. They never stingy about pay, because you worth it . . When you ask for below average pay, people may lose confident in you and doubt about your capability.
Don't get me wrong that  I am encouraging you to ask for unreasonable high pay, but just about your market value, if they want you, they will talk to you. Don't be inferior , believe in yourself and follow your heart.

Money or job satisfaction, both are equally important. On top of that, life quality may take into consideration. I am contented because I own all at the moment , plus a group of lovely colleagues .



 


Wednesday, May 29, 2013

那些我很冒险的梦


最近我让自己很忙很忙,该忙的很忙,不该忙的我也让自己盲目地忙。 每天拖着疲惫的身躯回去,明早又很早地出门。。只有工作和睡觉。。。一直重复 一直重复

当生活失去寄托,只有工作,忙碌是我最佳良伴。当我停下来的一瞬间,发现自己好空虚,回想不起忙了什么,为什么忙。。 空洞的让我恐惧。。忘了多久没有和密友通电,简讯。。 仿佛脱离了生活圈子好久,不懂怎么和外人沟通

我积极生活,发现现实好残酷。我想逃离现实生活,我想简简单单,朴素地体验生活。。。于是我计划一个人去旅行工作,也许很多人不支持我,因为他们认为这不是我,偏偏天秤座就是这样倔强。一个学姐让我想通一点,随着时间,我们还是会独立,即使你多不愿意。

希望这份动力和热忱会一直推动我的逐梦记。



Tuesday, May 28, 2013

筑梦。逐梦

这个星期每个人绝对压力爆标,因为这个月没有达标。 

说着说着,我们每个人都有一股不想工作的冲动。 我提出我们一起去旅行工作... 

只可惜,他们结婚的结婚,订婚的订婚,都是有家室的人,除了我 。。

虽然他们也回味当年二十六岁的他们,我也不禁怀念那时二十四岁的我。

大学刚毕业出来,大无畏的我随便找了一间公司,一做就快要两年。年轻就是本钱,从来不想太多,没把吃亏当一回事。

当年纪大了,经验多了,发现其实适当的报酬是应该得到的。因为我付出的不只是我的劳力,还有我的青春。

当你离开一间公司,它不会因为失去你而倒闭。总有某人可以取代你,而公司从来不会珍惜一个离职的员工,因为你它从来不欠彼此。

别把自己看得太重要。

来到新职场,遇到好多好人,都相处的很好。

可是发现这个行业,金钱可以蒙蔽任何一个人。一不小心,就会被金钱吞噬,然后泥足深陷。

我害怕我不自觉变成那样,我时刻提醒自己,要守住自己的原则。

我知道,所有人看到都是表面的我,我从来没有为自己捍卫过,反正你们认为我是那样,就随你们开心。

说起逐梦。。。看来我是摆脱不了让别人觉得我是独行侠的印象,连新朋友都觉得,天掉下来,我都可以扛得住,我就是这种女生。我说我只想当平凡的家庭主妇,他们笑翻了。。

最近有一个人也会活的很好的态度,可是今天崩溃了。。。 一点都不好。。 我很累。。 

电灯已经坏了两个星期,还是没有修。。比起两年前的我,也许我早就修好了。。

可是今天的我,想要找个人给我修好。。 我不想这样独立。。

好想好想回到小时候。。。 

I have mild depression, perhaps

Some people ask me how frequent I update here, and what inspire me to blog . If you are good follower, you will notice my posts are quite random, can be neutral , can be extreme.

People who know me well then will know that, in fact, I said before in real life, I blog to channel my feeling , my thoughts, sharing words that I could not deliver verbally, I deliver in words.

Verbally, comes together with facial expressions, tones and body language would let you know my frustration or excitement instantly.

You interpret and judge me , through every single word, I put here.

This is subjective.

I am just emotional and when I can never tell verbally , it means I couldn't cope with it anymore. I would collapse .

Sometimes I just reluctant to go out, don't feel like going to see anyone, do not want to talk a single word, even my family worried that I have depression .

Perhaps ...

Monday, May 27, 2013

Closing, closer , closed

Tomorrow is the sales closing date, up to date, this month I'm gonna eat grass , there is a very big gap to hit , and obviously there is no way or hope to ask for miracle to happen .

1st time I rushed 2 challenging workplaces in 1 day . 1st in damansara , well-known that the customers not to see any salepersons. Desperately , I waited for 2 hours and managed to see 3 key customers and 1 average customer eventually . The only set back was I did not manage to meet the one who really put in order for me .

Struggled where to go in the evening, to go far , or to go to the nearest of my house ... in the end I went to the one who I hope that atleast may give me another RM 8k .. Unfortunately again, the purchasers all not in .
But then, God has compensated me that I managed to grab3 key customers and finally I persuaded one of the important one to keep my product from 3rd line to 2nd line , because he said I am hardworking :D !
 Stayed till 6pm ++  ... wtf .. lolz ... and managed to get him out for lunch next week ! yippiee ...

Surprisingly, another customer is on call this week and he will stay back late the whole week ... and manage to have a free drink from him ... hahaha ! not too bad ... although no sales in the end of the day , at least , a free drink and dinner have compensated my disappointment ..


I strongly believe that when we fall at one place, there will be another place that we manage to get up and recover . I think , people called this as " Power of positive " .

I couldn't remember how many restless nights I had since last week .. perhaps keep myself busy would help me rest better . 

There are many obstacles coming in the job, confusions, lost , passion etc ... I hope I cope well ... doing well  ...I need listener ... not only reader ..

Sunday, May 26, 2013

I'm moving on ...

我知道上天在给我考验。

在我很毫无预警的时候,身边的人离开我。

我坚持很久的,我把他放开了. 是上天的安排.

说的是很容易,夜深时却不愿骗自己.

不得不承认成熟了,今天我用珍惜的心态, 坦然面对彼此的关系. 不管外人怎么说我放荡, 你们又有多懂我们两人...

就是那一点点微妙的关系,是多么让我害怕失去...

太多的问号 答案也不必找.

为何在疼爱我的时候才对我说离开我,我反复回想... 与其说是离开, 我想用升华来代替.

这几天我同时发现, 我自己想象的自己和一般友人的看法截然不同, 然后我一直反省...一直反省...

我一直不愿让对方默默在私底下付出,我不需要篮板球,我不想别人觉得都是他在吃亏 ,他没有什么见不得人, 不必那么卑微.我常常为他而感到骄傲.

其实, 别人误会我又如何, 我只想做最真实的自己,何必委曲求全做别人眼中万人迷的公主 ...

本小姐就是不屑装模作样 ... 天秤座的我就是如此倔强... 反正没人要来呵护我 , 我会最爱我自己.

九把刀说:
我隨時可以走,你也隨時能夠離開,沒有人能夠勉強對方一定得跟自己在一起,沒有人用眼淚威脅,沒有人用歇斯底里報復,我們依舊緊緊擁抱,捨不得分開。這才是,愛情。"

从此你就是我专属友达..不必做滥好人 . 一切都一如往常, 只是不必爱上我 .


Monday, May 20, 2013

Hair Review _ Shiro Hairmake boutique

before

I did my coloring from Techniqu Hair Studio , Mahkota Cheras , end of Apr , with this deal , topped up RM 20 for cut ( cut till shoulder length , or you top up RM 20 for waist length )

Obviously, it was super dried , according to the stylist , due to my last rebonding .. well,  it was september last year , from a used-to-go hair salon .. alright , I think she is right ..

 I have natural curl , and the stylist cut till shoulder length , so my hair becomes very frizzy .. until I cannot tahan ..

And coincidentally , grabbed this deal 

I only did rebonding for those newly grew and the bottom one is untreated so it is frizzy ... and slight curve .. 
err... or I think due to I just woke up and took this photo .. lolz


 
 At least, I don't have to blow my hair everyday now ....

But my friends said fringe does not fit me , really =,= ?? 


The hair stylists are quite ok ... and time management is good ... They also offer RM 25 (wash + blow ) with treatment FOC for following visit 


Call to book to avoid disappointment as they have sold many deals so far ..

Shiro Hairmake Boutique

F021, Level 1, Sungei Wang Plaza, Jalan Sultan Ismail
Kuala Lumpur 55100
Phone: 013-328 9678 (Call 11am – 8pm daily)
Facebook: Shiro Hairmake Boutique 

Went IBE 2013 and grabbed the following to take great care of my hair .. !
 Left to right :
Loreal Absolut repair (RM220 for 2 x 1L ) 
Loreal hair Spa RM 40 x 1 L
S.kopf Q10 treatment RM 56 
S.kopf RM 22.40

牽手與做愛


有一個朋友告訴我,她與男友交往了一年,只牽過手,還沒接過吻。

我問她現在是西元幾年,她告訴我是2004年。

她不是處女,她交過男朋友,但是她願意和一個男人牽了一年的手,還不急著接吻。

有一個朋友寫了一篇文章說男人在過馬路的時候、在party的時候、在看鬼片的時候會牽著她的手,並告訴她牽不牽手,很重要。

我想起了談戀愛的過程裡,許多真正讓我心動的每一刻,都是與牽手相關。

與初戀男人第一次牽手,我害羞的一直低著頭,緊張的直冒手汗,那一刻彷彿正式宣告了:「我們在一起!」

我的心臟差一點因為劇烈的跳動而興奮窒息。

我喜歡我愛的男人,走在路上時,他步伐比較大在我的前頭,仍然記得把手往後伸,手心向上,暗示著我趕快向前抓住他的手。

那種感覺,深刻的窩心。

我也喜歡和朋友一同吃飯時,我的男人在餐桌下握住我的手,

我們甚至不用看著對方的眼神,也可以透過手心的溫度感受到他緊緊的陪伴著我。

開車的時候,他會伸出他的左手握著我的右手。

我喜歡男人大大的手掌、修長的手指、厚實的掌心,

讓我感受到他的力量,安心的停靠在他的手裡。

當我們長大了,成熟了,談戀愛的速度變的快一些了,牽手的重要性或許小到微不足道,你可以覺得很容易,也可以覺得它不代表什麼。

我們和一個男人在一起,不再只是由牽手開始,我們可能因為吻了一個男人所以開始了戀情,可能和一個男人做愛,才開始愛上他,更可能什麼都做過了,卻一點也不愛他。

我想起許多男人,他們或許願意和一個女人親密的接吻上床,宛如熱戀中的情侶一樣,

但是他們吝於在公開的場合牽起她的手。

我們開始習慣於複雜的情感關係,深層的肉體關係,

但是我們卻忽略了最簡單的牽手關係。

或許我們不是忽略,我們只是不願意重視。

我想,牽手一定是最簡單,也是最難的肉體關係。

我們可以很簡單的牽到任何一個人的手,我們很難簡單的和任何一個人做愛。
相反的,我們可以很容易的和任何一個人做愛,我們卻很難簡單大方的牽著他的手。

我想起和我交往的一個男人,他很少牽我的手,走在路上大多是我主動牽他的手。

他對於愛情內斂而不夠主動,我一直沒有告訴他,我多麼希望他主動牽我的手,主動說我愛妳,主動對我說他多麼的需要我重視我。

雖然我是很主動的女生,但我也需要男人主動,給我主動去愛他的力量。

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